Therapist Tips for Managing Emotions
Feeling Your Feelings
Tip #4: Try these 4 steps to improve managing your emotions.
If you feel sad, say to yourself, “I am feeling sad" or “I am feeling anxious”. Avoid saying “I am sad” or “I am anxious”.
Practice paying attention to your feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones for 90 seconds, 3 times a day for 4 weeks.
Be still, breathe, scan your body, and notice where you feel it in your body. Simply observe and avoid judging or overanalyzing.
Remind yourself out loud that your emotions are not bad. They have a purpose to keep us alive, to communicate to ourselves, and to communicate to others.
Why it works:
Naming emotions enables our minds to focus on it, understand and address it. It turns off the brain’s fight or flight brain response, turning on the part of the brain that helps organize thoughts and emotions, and helps decision making. Then by observing the emotions, you create distance from it so that it has less control over you. It allows you to be an observer of the emotion instead of being controlled by it. Emotions last approximately 90 seconds if no other stimuli is present to prolong them. When you strengthen tolerating unwanted feelings, in turn, you will enhance feeling the pleasant ones, like happiness.
